Just cause I messed up your plans a little (but I made suggestions), you being nice to everyone but snap at me. Yet when everyone snaps at you, I'm so nice to you. I really didn't know you had plans. You say you're trying to bring things together. Careful. Cause you raised no fool. I don't bear with anyone's rubbish when I don't get anything out from it.

To think that I felt sad when you were down just makes me cringe. Makes me feel all fake and plastic. This is what family does to you, it bites you from behind when you least expect it.
Family. Ha. It has to be the joke of the century.

Jer it's really time you start being indepedent. The only one you can rely on is Jesus, everyone else will just fail you.
Sorry God, but I've had enough.
Things haven't changed much, but school's getting a lot better. I'm coping so much so much better, well all except for bio. However that's only for the time being, i mean about not coping well for bio. I tell you I'm so ace-ing my examies. Make Ailin ever so proud of me HAHA(:

09s04's really awesome can. I really thank Jesus for them!

So............................................................. I owe my teacher Bio homework...I just remembered.... shoot.

(:
COMPETITION IS GOING TO BE STIFF THIS YEAR. Some crazy J1's have already started staying back to study...... AHHH!!! I am becoming super gan jiong spider. Everything also MUST PIA!! (see I'm begining to sound like Ailin HEH!!!) Jesus help me RELAX! Okay for the second time in my JC1 life... I FINISHED MY MATH TUTE WAY WAY WAY before the due date.... usually I don't complete it lah..... Good job Jer(: You deserve a little break. I almost finished chem.. not sure about some.... crap.......

I want to be in the top 30%. Too ambitious? Please. The One who loves me the most, died for me. What else can Jesus not do for me? What is exams to him? Anyway, the memory of the righteous is blessed. Since I'm the righteous, my memory is obviously blessed ((: AMEN!

TEEHEE!!! I am enjoying myself studying whatever I've studied before. Thank you Jesus. All will be well. Amen.

To dampen my mood and spoil my happy thoughts, I've got CCA tomorrow. Hurray, hurrah, whoopie doopie doo. I can't wait to ciao..... 5th may. Will I even stay till then? I don't know. I'll just have to see. Ah frak choir.

Sorry if you're in choir and you read this. I'm really giving my best even though I'm not quite enjoying myself anymore. If I suck. I'm extremely sorry. I hate my voice sometimes.

...............................................

A year on, and I have a new class.... yet again. 09s04. Going to be doing what I did last year. I know it'll be good. New class, new teachers, old-new experience. Wonder what it's going to be like at the end of the year. More tears and laughter. But first, I must learn to let go.

Jesus to the year ahead. Amen.

I'm in 09S04. Yes, 09, yes S04. Mixture so many feelings right now. One thing's for sure I've got great OGLs(:

I made a new friend..... it is so different this time round. Oh well... what the heck. God will make all things RIGHT(:
I'm feeling a little unsettled. Maybe a little more then a little. Everything's just weird right now. Especially school. The real reason why I don't want to go for orientation is that I feel extremely uncomfortable around the j1's. Extremely uncomfortable. It's seems as if they are judging me. Yeah I know trust God. Right now, I'm running on empty. So pardon me, I wish to be filled up too. Everything feels so elusive.

Meeting Denise tomorrow. Tomorrow so happens to be Mummy's and Wayne's birthday too.
Shit. I let it get to me.

So I'm not helping out anymore. Yeah I was looking forward to it quite a fair bit. I miss all my closest friends. I miss having to looking forward to. I miss going to church. I don't know lah. My head's really heavy right now.

Today wasn't good at all. I had too many awkward moments. You know feeling sian is just so tiring. I HATE something. I don't know what. Like what I was thinking to myself and God when I was walking home just now. Nobody really gives a damn what kind of a day I've had... excpet for God. Yet you can tell me what kind of a screwed up day you had.

Life is so much like a routine now. Every morning I wake up, hoping it's the weekend. I bathe, brush my teeth, change, eat, go to school, lessons, hang around in the canteen wasting my life away, going for choir, going home, bath, eat and then sleep. Jesus daddy, thank you for something exciting tomorrow and the day after.

My mum voiced her concern that CCA's going to affect my studies. Hell yeah it's going to.. but there's nothing much I can do. I really want to quit so badly. I hate it so much.Without SYF my efforts in choir will be equivalent to nothing. Nothing.

And here's the best part. It's only the beginning.

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Friends:
meiqi.
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SHAN.
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Weiju.
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Abba's beloved, Jerlynn Jesus loves jerlynn and that's all that really matters twentyninthJune LOVES TO SING LOVES NEW CREATION CHURCH LOVES ARROW